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Successful People Build Their Confidence

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It’s never too late to get the confidence you desire in any area of your life. People talk about confidence as if it is something you either do or do not have. This is not the case! Confidence is specific to particular situations and can both increase or decrease over time. You may be confident at networking and building relationships but you may tremble at the thought of public speaking; lacking any confidence at all.

When faced with something new, even the most confident of us all get pangs of self-doubt. At that moment we all have a choice: give in to the fear and remain where we are or face the fear head on and master the confidence.

In order to gain confidence, you have to do the very thing you are unconfident about. The fabulous thing is that with a few tools up your sleeve, you can make the process a little easier and master the confidence at just about anything.

How to Develop Confidence:

Choose a specific area that you want to achieve greater confidence.

Create a vision of what it will look and feel like when you have confidence in this specific area. Make the vision as detailed and vivid as possible. Focus on all your senses: what you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.

Practice focusing on this vision every morning and every evening before going to bed. Also focus on this vision immediately prior to any situation where you want to draw on this confidence.

Model people who are already confident in this area. What do they do that makes them appear, behave and feel confident? Start doing those same things!

Form a ‘hierarchy of tasks’ you can face in order to build your confidence in this area. Start with tasks that are easiest and work your way through to more difficult tasks. Remember ‘large doors swing on small hinges’.

For example, one of my clients, Claire, used this exercise to overcome her lack of confidence to network effectively. She set the big goal to walk away from every networking event with 3 new contacts. Claire made the following hierarchy of tasks that would lead to the development of her big networking goal:

  • Attend a networking event alone
  • Talk to one person I have never met before
  • Get contact details of one person I have never met before
  • Send a follow up email to one person I met at a networking event
  • Make a follow up phone call to one person I met at a networking event
  • Talk to two people at a networking event that I have never met and get their contact details
  • Follow up two people with phone calls and organise to meet
  • Talk to three people I have never met, get their contact details, follow up with a phone call and organise a meeting.

She steadily progressed through each task, moving onto the next level only once she had mastered the level she was on. By the end of three months, Claire had gone from detesting networking events to using networking as her main marketing tool. She now enjoys walking away with three contacts every event. She is more confident than most other people at any networking event and now focuses on helping other people feel at ease at these events by approaching them herself!

Decide to never again run away from something because you lack the confidence! Face it head on. You may just find it’s the most liberating thing you have ever done.

Author: Sacha Crouch

Dealing with Time Wasters

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“Those that make the best use of their time have none to spare.” ~ Thomas Fuller

Managing time is something that most people struggle with every day. There never seems to be enough time to do the things that matter most. Why is that? Most people are reactive rather than being proactive. This is a most common problem in the effective management of time – most people react to situations outside their control instead of actively doing what is inside their control. There needs to be a shift in focus to succeed at managing time. The aim should be to concentrate on results, not on being busy. This shift of focus in attitude moves from “I don’t have enough time” to “Am I using my time effectively?”

Dealing with time wasters is an issue that most people believe is outside their control. However, the opposite is true. This is the biggest area that most people can actively change. By identifying and overcoming barriers to effective time management issues you will be able to function more effectively and gain more control over YOUR time.

Time wasters may erode your time and energy to the point that you are unproductive. The choice is yours if you allow them to waste your time. To free up your time you need to identify those time wasters, decide what you want to do about them and then take some positive action. Becoming aware will allow you to improve your time use. Below are some of the main time wasters. There are many others however we have concentrated on time wasters that are basically your own doing. This way you have more say into changing your habits.

Procrastination

Putting things off is a waste of not only your time but also your energy, thoughts and attitudes. When you delay doing things you waste your time worrying about what you need to do and then give yourself a hard time for not doing it. There is no substitute for doing. Avoiding doing things doesn’t mean they go away. So, why avoid what needs to be done? Next time you are in a situation where you are procrastinating, stop and ask yourself “What am I trying to avoid?” See what the answer is.

Inability to say “NO”

Everyone has faced the situation where the demands on your time exceed your ability to handle them with the available time and resources. Learning to say “no” is an important skill everyone needs to master. Taking on too much leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. Learning to say “no” will be one of the most important skills you will ever learn. The more practice you have saying “no” the better you become at it. When confronted with situations where you need to say “no”, and you struggle to do so, try to work out why. Do you not want to let the person down; you want to be a good friend? The inability to say “no” has nothing to do with the other person and all to do with you. Next time you are in a situation be prepared and have a statement that you can constantly repeat which doesn’t make the situation confrontational or emotional. For example, say something like “Please respect my decision”, or “I am unable to help you at the moment”. Remember you don’t need to give a reason why. We don’t offer an explanation when we say yes.

Interruptions

No one disputes the fact that interruptions occur and there is nothing you can do about it. Whether it is the telephone or people dropping by your desk, your children wanting your attention, interruptions always end up stopping you from what you were doing and take your focus away to something else. Most interruptions are a useless waste of your time and need to be kept to a minimum. Do not give away your time just because colleagues ask/demand for it. Assess whether it is necessary and be willing to say “no” to that person at that particular time. Especially with children, but not limiting it to children, by saying “no” when it is appropriate is teaching them the art of patience, giving them the opportunity to learn respect for others and encouraging them to be able to do the same when it is not right for them.

For example, if your role involves a lot of interruptions but most of the time they are from people who just want to say hello and chat then you need to do something about it. In this situation, it is best to ask the person how you can help them? If they don’t need your help then politely send them away with something like, “I’m in the middle of finishing a report/email/letter, and I’ll come back to you for that chat a little later.”

Lack of delegation

It is a complete waste of time for you to do something, which someone else can do better. You are not always the best person to complete a particular task. The old saying, “If you want a job done well you better do it yourself” is just that, old. Always ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?” If it is, do it. If not, delegate it. Focus on your strengths and abilities and allow others the opportunity to grow by being given extra responsibilities and roles.

Bad Attitude

Attitude goes a long way in making your day productive or unproductive. If you have a poor attitude you will dwell on the negatives and not focus on the solutions. Having a positive attitude will allow you to concentrate more effectively and find a solution to an issue. You choose your attitude whether you are aware of it or not. When you consciously decide to be positive, your results will reflect this. Next time you feel yourself being negative make an effort to change this and see what happens.

Author: Anna Cairo

Create Passion and Purpose in Your Life

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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived our lives full of passion and purpose? To wake each day, feeling happy and alive! Excited and motivated to live the day with the greatest capacity? Don’t you agree?

Wouldn’t it be completely fulfilling, to work and play in line with what we truly valued?

Creating passion and purpose in our lives can be absolutely achievable, when we become really aware of our personal values and our personal vision.

What is it specifically, that you value? Is it Family? Career – change and variety, meaningful work, achievement? Creativity and Fun? Health and Fitness? Work/Life Balance? Something else?

Becoming clear about what we really value is the first step toward achieving a fulfilling life, because we can then start making daily choices around how we spend our time: are we spending too much time doing things that we don’t value at all? Are we spending enough time, if any, doing the things that we do value? Shifting what we do – so we spend more time doing the things we value – creates fulfilling, happy days that creates passion and purpose around our daily lives.

What is your personal vision? Where do you see yourself in time to come? What do you want? Having a clear vision around what you want for yourself, in your life, creates an open door to begin walking through. Is your vision in line with your true values? Knowing where you want to go is the first step toward realizing it. When we know what we want, we can then start to align our daily actions toward achieving our vision. Are we spending our days doing activities that are not in line with our vision? Are we doing and being what and who we need to be, to live in line with what we want?

Having a clear vision of what you want and knowing what you value in life will help you act in line with your vision and values and will in turn help you create passion and purpose in your life. So, who do you need to be, to do what you need to do, to have passion and purpose in your life?

Author: Brigitte Calvert

Commitment: Does it Come in Varying Degrees?

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There are a few meanings in the dictionary for the word ‘Commitment’ – and they all lead to the same general idea. Commitment – the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action. That’s an interesting connotation.

We make commitments in many areas of life; relationships, jobs, businesses, families, studying and learning, coaching, sporting activities, health and wellbeing including dieting, and even accumulating wealth and abundance, along with a multitude of other things. It’s often easy to make a commitment and for many, much harder to stay true to that commitment. How well do you carry out your commitments? Is making a commitment easy for you? Is seeing it through to its natural completion harder to do? How many projects have you made a commitment to over the years and not seen that commitment through to the end?

A significant amount of coaching is about making the commitment to the process of formulating and achieving positive change. Whether you are a student of coaching or a person choosing to engage a coach, your dedication to your ongoing learning, development and evolvement is the place to begin the process. Until you are truly dedicated to completing whatever it is that you are committing to, there will be loopholes to be found, excuses to make and options to get you away from the original project.

There are a few questions to ask yourself when you are considering making a commitment:

  • Is this something I truly choose to do?
  • Will I achieve my goals from making this commitment?
  • Am I fully prepared to enter into this commitment, 100%?
  • Do I see value in undertaking this commitment?
  • Will I learn more about myself as a result of this commitment?

If you answered yes to those questions, congratulations, you can be assured you are well on your way to completing and seeing your commitment through to the end. Commitment to completing whatever it is you are undertaking begins with you. It is your commitment to yourself, to who you are as a person that will keep you on track and attaining your outcomes.

Before taking off on a flight in a commercial aircraft, the flight attendants instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency. Part of the instructions include reaching for the oxygen mask (should the need arise) and fixing it in place on yourself first, before you assist any other person. Why? Because your commitment to self must come first if you are going to be able to respond with the appropriate levels of action.

Seeing things through to their final completion is a worthwhile goal to keep in mind when you are making a commitment. By being who you really want to be when starting a project, doing what you need to do to change along the way and by having the commitment to see projects through to their conclusion is the way to move forward in your life and bring your goals into reality along with balance, harmony and personal wellbeing.

Some of the benefits of commitment and staying with it until completion include:

  • Deep sense of accomplishment;
  • Achieving your dreams and goals – seeing them manifest;
  • Personal growth as you face and work through potential obstacles;
  • Learning more about yourself and your personal strengths and abilities; and
  • Discovering the areas that may benefit from further application of perseverance.

Commitment is intention brought to action and action brought to achievement. How is your level of commitment?

Author: Liz Moodie

7 Steps to Move Your Forward

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The essential principles that will stop you putting off your goals…

It’s a brand new year and you want to achieve those goals that have been floating around your mind for some time. This is the year! This time you’ll do it!

As the days roll on, you find yourself making excuses – giving yourself reasons that make it ok to delay, side step and distract yourself from taking action toward your goal. ONCE AGAIN!

So, why do some people move forward and achieve the results they want, while others constantly repeat their histories? Those that move forward understand and follow essential principles for success:

1. You need to know specifically, the outcome you want (be certain the goal is something YOU want, not what others want for you). What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? Be very clear about this – see it, feel it and hear it – and write it down!

2. Ask yourself, “for what purpose do I want this?” Create the passion behind the purpose! What are the compelling reasons that succinctly underpin why you want this for yourself? What will doing / having / being this, give you? And what will happen if you don’t achieve these outcomes? Write it down! Make it real! Create a compelling DESIRE.

3. Identify what your values are. What do you value about life? What’s important to you? Study these. and ask yourself. “what do my values NEED to be, to achieve the results I want?” Who do I need to be to get where I need to go? Be courageous!

4. Work out the steps to get there! Break it down into measurable, attainable and realistic actions. It’s important to give each step a time frame, to keep up the momentum. Achieving each time-framed step allows you to feel confident, and encourages motivation to continue and achieve the next step. Creating these successes along the way creates a feeling of continuing confidence and competence! You can do this!

5. Decide what resources you need to help you move forward and achieve the results you want. What resources do you already have? What do you need to do to access the resources you need to support you? Write them down and plan ahead!

6. Be flexible! Remember, there is more than one way to reach an outcome. Those that move forward understand the importance of flexible plans and flexible behaviour! If one way doesn’t work – don’t delay, side step, avoid and give up! Create an alternative way to keep yourself moving forward. Simply notice along the way what works and what doesn’t, and act around it!

7. Start behaving AS IF you are already there! Start walking and talking AS IF you’ve already succeeded. start believing it! DAILY! And always refer back to your specific outcome. See it in your minds eye on a daily basis, feel the achievement and hear what’s going on around you – MAKE IT REAL EVERY DAY!

Author: Brigitte Calvert